While We Wait
by a knight who says NEEP
Summary: Their conversation has never been of the easiest. Now, it may be the only thing they have left. Part 2 added.
1. Chapter 1

While We Wait.

Summary: Their conversation has never been of the easiest. Now it may be all they have left.

"Oh my God, I just keep thinking – oh my God. So this is it. This is how I'm going to die. Here. Like this. Which is stupid, because it's not helping anything, and anyway there's no reason to imagine we're definitely gonna die here. I mean, we've gotten out of worse. It's not as though Jim Kirk is exactly the type to leave crewmembers stranded, if he has any choice about it. There's every chance we could be out of here in an hour."  
"I would estimate our chances of survival at approximately fourteen point seven percent."

Pause.

"Thanks."

"You are welcome."  
"I was being sar_cas_tic"  
Pause.

"I do not understand."

Sigh.

"Look. When a human is stuck in a situation he or she is very probably not gonna be getting out of, a human doesn't always want to hear the exact grim probability of imminent death. Okay?"  
Pause.

"Of all the irrational fears of humankind, I believe the fear of death to be one of the most irrational."  
"Oh yeah?"  
"Indeed. One of your own Terran philosophers phrased it aptly. There is little to be done to prevent one's death until the moment of it's actuation. After which, there is no purpose in worrying."

"Well, pity we don't all possess those perfect mental disciplines of yours, Spock. It might make this go a lot easier."  
"Undoubtedly."

Time passes

"You know what's dumb?"  
"Elaborate."  
"I would feel so much better if I could see you right now."  
"The absence of light is something of an…inconvenience."  
"I was thinking more downright scary."  
"Are you not a psychologist, doctor? Can you not recognize this reaction as a primitive fear-threat response to the unknown?"  
"Of course I can."  
"And considering that we are trapped_ in_ here, it is only logical to surmise the vast majority of threatening lifeforms to be trapped _out_."

"God help me, but that actually made me feel a little better. We should talk more."  
"We_ are _using air."

"Air well spent."  
"Irrational."  
"Humour me."  
"Very well. What do you wish to converse about?"

Long pause.

"What did Sarek say when you told him you were joining Starfleet?"  
"I beg your pardon?"

"I always wanted to know."  
"And you ask such a question _now_?"  
"It's something we fallible humans do. At times like this."

Pause. "Sarek is a Vulcan. He accepts what is."  
"Figures."

Time passes.

"….So then I got a hamster for my next birthday, cos my mother figured there was no way that could run away. She was wrong. Funny I was never any good at keeping animals safe and well. That's probably why I went into medicine – some kind of repressed-inferiority thing. Did you ever have pets as a kid?"  
"You are already aware I owned a _selat_."  
"Damn, I was hoping you'd forgotten. What was its name? Oh wait, I bet Vulcan children don't name their pets. Too sentimental, right?"

Pause.

"Her name was I-Chaya."

"What does that mean?"  
"I don't believe there is an appropriate translation."  
"O-kay…."

"I do not intend to be intransigent, doctor. Names mean rather more in my culture than they do in yours."  
"Sure. I understand."  
Pause.

"Hey Spock, do you think there's any way…you could sort of – _contact_ the captain? Mentally, I mean. You've mind-melded several times…"  
"I am a touch-telepath only doctor. You know this."  
"Yeah, I just thought…never mind. Act of desperation."  
Pause.

"I assure you I can think of no solution to our current predicament. If I could I would attempt it."  
"Alright, sorry, I don't mean I consider you res_pons_ible or anything. Hey – you don't think this is _your _fault, do you? I'm just as much to blame…"

Long pause.

"To assign blame….would presently be illogical."  
"For once, we're in total agreement."  
Pause.

"So I guess I was wrong about getting out of here in an hour, right?"  
"It has certainly been longer than that."  
"Of course I have total faith in Jim. He'll go right to HQ if necessary."  
"I believe the captain will do everything within his power to rescue us."

Time Passes. 

"Oh my God, I'm so thirsty."  
"I am also beginning to experience the symptoms associated with dehydration."  
"Reminds me of the time my cousin and I got lost in the swamp back in Georgia. Jack was six. Couldn't have been more than nine or ten years old myself. All that water – and we couldn't drink squat. Had a hell of time trying to stop him…"

"I associate the sensation with the vigil at Vulcan's Forge."  
"Seriously? You've done that?"  
"I would not be an adult had I not achieved the desert crossing and vigil at the sacred place."  
"Sounds like hell."  
"It is a sacred ritual."  
"Sorry. Didn't mean to insult your culture or anything."  
"Understandable."

Time passes. 

"The crossing of Vulcan's Forge in fact bears more semblances to your Terran myths of Purgatory."

"_What?"_  
"I have been considering your earlier comparison."  
"I've been considering water. And how much air we have left."  
"Without a chronometer or accurate impression of space it is difficult to estimate."  
"Do you think we're gonna die here?"  
"I have already given you the odds."  
"Yeah but do you think we're going to?"

Pause.

"I prefer not to speculate."

"You want to check the walls again? In case we missed a crack, an updraft, anything?"  
"We have already-"  
"I know. But it might help. It might help _me_, at least."  
"As you wish, doctor."

Time passes.

"I…admire you."  
"Doctor. Further speech is really…not advisable."  
"Shut up I'm gonna say this. I know…we've had our differences. I won't pretend…we understand eachother. But…I do think…you are a great first officer…and a very good person."  
"Once again you….insist on applying your race's…moral values to…to other….."

"Spock!"  
"…yes…."  
"Hey, you stay with me!"

"I am here. If….we are to speak again….I would say….that in many ways I admire you."  
Pause.

"Always thought so."  
Hoarse laughter.

"Well….I'm glad we covered that…before….the end."  
"To give up all hope….is illogical."  
"Yeah….always a chance, right Spock?"  
"Fourteen point seven percent."

Finis.


	2. Chapter 2

Aftermath.

"So – we have to talk."  
"Indeed?"  
"Why don't you sit down?"  
"I prefer to stand."  
"Yeah, well it makes me uncomfortable! This is my office, so sit. Anywhere is fine."  
"Very will. I will comply, if it will set you at your ease. Though I cannot imagine what else you wish to talk about, doctor, considering the amount of time we have spent recently with eachother."  
"Well, just that."  
"Explain."  
"Well, first I wanted to apologise if I was acting like an idiot at any point, or-"  
"You acted exactly as I would predict – in accordance with your nature, as I behaved in accordance with mine. One does not apologise for one's nature, doctor."  
"O-kay…"

Pause.

"Well, anyway, I was thinking some more about what you said. How it wasn't a completely unique experience for you, how it make you think of that….vigil. And I realized – I really don't know much about you, Spock. I mean, who you really are. And before you give me any bull about the natural reserve of Vulcans making that impossible, well, that's exactly what I'm getting at. I don't even know about your people. And you sure as hell know about mine."  
"Indeed."  
"Yes indeed!"  
Pause.

"I have often felt…my knowledge and understanding of the human culture to be woefully insufficient."  
"Seems to me you rip us apart pretty well."  
"An innacutare metaphor. I am a scientist, as you are, therefore I anyalise. A process which often entails a certain amount of…dissection. I do not mean to offend you."  
"Yeah, well you do a damn good….no. I know, I know, but it's just – hard for me to understand you. Jim knows – God knows how he does it. It's like the two of you have this _link_…"  
Long pause.

"Okay, sorry. Dangerous territory. But anyway, I was wondering…even, in the name of research…couldn't you tell me a little more about this…vigil thing?"  
"It would be….permissible."  
Pause.

"I meant what I said you know – about admiring you. That's why I want to learn."  
"The will to learn is always admirable. Given this case, I will do more than tell you of the vigil at Vulcan's Forge. I will show it to you."

Time passes.

"But you're sure this is safe, right?"

"The ship's holographic falicites are designed to prevent injury."  
"Including heatstroke? Dehydration, sunburn…"  
"I have modified the temperatures somewhat to be tolerable to humans. Thus far the simulation is inaccurate. You will also be experiencing the period of vigil only – you would not withstand the desert crossing."

Pause.

"YOU CALL THIS TOLERABLE?"

"I advise caution, doctor: raising your voice will likely attract desert predators, and whilst they are not capable of actually harming you, I believe you would find a confrontation with a close-range holograph rather…unpleasant."

Times passes.

"So…what happens now?"  
"Explain."  
"What do we do?"  
"We do not do. We exist. Here."  
"There are no…prayers or anything?"  
"There is discipline of the mind. Here, in this place, Surak the prophet drew inspiration and strength from the desert sands. At vigil we attune our minds to what this means to us, attempting to absorb the same."  
Pause.

"Perhaps it is not possible for you."  
"I guess not."

Long pause.

"But it's still….incredibly beautiful. If it wasn't for this damned _heat_."

Time passes.

"Hey, are their Vulcan artists?"

"Artists, doctor?"  
"Painters, I mean, illustrators. It's the land out here. The colours, the contours…it makes me wonder."  
"There are some who work with images. There are also poets."  
"_Poetry_? Isn't that rather…emotional?"  
"Poetry is a disciplined exercise in balance and the synthesis of oppositions."

Pause.

"Besides which…Vulcans are not without aesthetic appreciation of beauty."

"I'm glad to hear it. Sights like this…they do things to a person. A feeling of peace – order. Like for all the chaos and destruction out there in the Universe, there's always going to be hope. Because at the heart of it, this kind of beauty lies."  
No answer.

Times passes

"Spock?"

"Hm?"  
"My leg's asleep."  
Pause.

"You are free to leave."  
"I don't want to leave! I am..._appreciating_ this you know. I'm just gonna walk about for a second. Besides which…it seems kind of a waste not to see some more of this beautiful hologram. You did a great job. That's still experiencing the desert, right?"  
"Yes."

Pause.

"I will come."  
"You mean you've finished?"  
"No indeed. Were I to undertake the ritual in earnest, for a second time, I would only now be approaching the second stage of the inner disciplines."  
"Oh. Then I've wrecked it for you."  
"On the contrary. I brought you here to experience my culture, and you have done so. The fact that your experience is more external than internal is simply a facet of your nature. I meant to show you a Vulcan way, which can be done – but I cannot make you see through the eyes of a Vulcan. Nor would I wish to. My people have a saying…"  
"Which is?"  
"A moment…the ever-present problem of translation. I cannot render it exactly but an approximation is…_I rejoice in our differences_."

Pause.

"That's a wise saying. From a wise people."  
"A logical people, doctor."

Laughter.

Finis


End file.
